It is interesting to note that my eight years spent at Yale were not entered into the records, or, worse, were mysteriously deleted from them by a sinister hand. Somehow, these records were transferred to Santa Ana Junior College, in California, with a lowered grade-point average. Also, it was worrisome to discover that my high-school yearbook photo had been tampered with, causing me to look like a nerd who could not have lost his virginity until the sad age of twenty-two.