January 2008
97 posts
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December 2007
28 posts
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“It wasn’t me. It was the one armed man.”
– Dr. Richard Kimble
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The Most Inappropriate Bush War Smirk of 2007 →
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Bullshit, Jesus, Those Are Obviously My Footprints
By Jim Steinhauer Sorry to have to break it to you, Jesus, but those are obviously my footprints. Look closely. See how those footprints have that wavy tread pattern on the bottom, just like my docksiders? If they were yours, they’d make a sandal mark, like the footprints next to mine a little farther up the beach when I was going through better times. See the footprints at the time of my...
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More Karl
Karl: You can know too much, where it gets you down.
Ricky: Go on.
Karl: I just was reading something about an octopus, that's like a killer octopus. And it annoyed me that this was knocking about now. Because I didn't know, I thought they were quite friendly. Whenever you see them in cartoons and that, they're always happy, aren't they, and then suddenly they've brought the whole sort of creature down. Do you know what I mean?
Ricky: No, what do you mean?
Karl: Just whenever you see them in films they're always running about and that and everybody likes an octopus. But this one - it was your fault, really, because you told me about the frog that's going about killing people.
Ricky: No, I didn't say that.
Karl: So I looked it up on the internet, at like, other creatures and stuff -
Ricky: Dot com -
Karl: And there's some octopus that's in the sea, and what it does, you don't even have to, like, threaten it. It just spits in the water, and if that stuff gets on you, it does you in. So in a way, it's good knowledge because, I mean, I don't go in the sea because it's full of stuff like that, but that's just reassured me that I'm doing the right thing. If they're knocking about just gozzing everywhere, you don't even have to be near one, you don't even know if it's been spitting and stuff, it can kill you. It just seems unfair. I haven't harmed it, I haven't gone near it, why is it getting annoyed with me? Doesn't seem right. So that's where knowledge has not helped that octopus out, because now, when you eat them, I just think "Yeahhh, have another one." Do you know what I mean? Get rid of 'em.
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“I don’t like jellyfish.
They’re not a fish, they’re just a...”
– Karl Pilkington
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Craigslist Meets WallStreet →
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“It’s a trickle-down theory. If I’m happy, I’m less abusive to...”
– Homer Simpson
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The Salon Interview | Tobias Wolff →
Sigh.
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“This monster - the monster they’ve engendered in me will return to torment...”
– George Jackson
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Inigo: Who are you?!
Man in Black: No one of consequence.
Inigo: I must know.
Man in Black: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo: Okay.
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Holiday on Thin Ice - New York Times →
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“There’s no reason to hang out with her again. She’s a bottom...”
– Peet, in regard to a friend of a friend.
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Moral of the story: Never mess with a bear.
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“Chatterton suicidé
Hannibal suicidé,
Démosthène suicidé,
Nietzsche fou a...”
– Serge Gainsbourg, Chatterton
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Asteroid Misses Earth, Threatens Mars A pass of 4.7 million miles is still pretty far away, but I suppose this is what happens when rocks hurtle through space at random trajectories. It’s hard to even comprehend these distances and velocities.
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